Our politicians are searching for answers.
We are fighting disease, racism and political divide.
There is an underlying problem. An even greater struggle is the fight for the family.
We want a better America, but we offer no challenge divorces, and government-assisted childbirth (without the father contributing).
Good Fathers are the answer to many modern day American problems.
I am for the financial support of single moms and the children. But not without holding the father responsible for carrying out his part of the deal.
Do we want to change our lives? Let’s get to ground zero. America and the nations will change when we bring effective change to the family.
The government can provide funding. But if financing is available, they must appropriate it to the right organizations. Organizations such as churches, non-profits, and social workers that offer family training and support.
Lasting change begins at home.
Fatherless families are an epidemic. Fatherless families are the single most significant contributor to a worldwide crisis.
David Blankenhorn said, This fact is so disturbing that many people prefer to ignore it. Our public debate on the family, for example, focuses almost exclusively on the roles of women and the plight of children, as if the male role in family life were somehow secondary or even irrelevant. We disguise the sex of the problem with polite euphemisms. We say “single-parent homes,” when we mean mothers are raising children without fathers. We speak of “parenting” as if motherhood and fatherhood were a set of gender-neutral “skills,” like plumbing. In short, we turn fatherlessness into a problem with no name.
So true. We do not name it because it has affected so many. Maybe it is personal.
Maybe you were once a “sire” and not a father. Or maybe you abandoned a family. Yes, it’s that real.
I have dealt with this in my past. It was 40 years ago, but it still lingers in my soul. After my failure, I became an improved Dad. So, I sought out great resources and mentors to help.
Learning is a never-ending journey. So I am still learning how to excel at being a grandfather.
Being a dad and a grandad is my greatest earthly pleasure.
So here are my humble suggestions.
Be involved & stay involved
Children with involved fathers have a more significant advantage.
The advantages include:
- greater confidence
- develop better life skills
- gain healthy independence
- mature properly
- experience better self-esteem
- develop positive social skills
- more secure
- suffer less depression
- commit suicide less
- experience less sex before marriage
- contribute to society more.
Can you see why we get involved and stay involved?
Take a look:
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) — 5 times the average.
- 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes — 32 times the average.
- 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes — 20 times the average. (Centers for Disease Control)
- 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403–26)
- 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes — 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
So, Fathers we are the answer, we must stay involved. Dad’s get involved in who your child is running with. It matters.
Their current friends tell the story of life and define their future.
Check their cell phone. Yes, invade your kid’s phones. Even more so, if you pay the bill.
The cell phone is a tell-all.
Also, get involved in their school life and with their teachers. Most teachers know more about your child than you.
Teachers are always willing to give suggestions without violating your child’s privacy.
Be their biggest supporter.
True fatherhood means becoming your child’s best fan, but it doesn’t mean liking or accepting everything they do or accepting every decision they make.
If your child is about to jump off a cliff the parents are the parachute.
Most dads wait too long to get involved. Staying involved is the best dad rhythm for relationships.
Dads are both father and disciplinarian. Please discipline properly. Healthy discipline includes guiding them and correcting them.
Faithful dads support their failures and their successes. When your child fails discipline gives guidance for the future.
Discipline is also a great learning tool for toddlers and teenagers.
Be their spiritual advisor
With my kids, true fatherhood was being a spiritual advisor. Children need hope beyond this life.
They must live for more than themselves. Spiritual truth is a great way to resist narcissism in your teenagers. I suggest regular pray over your kids and teach them to pray.
Be their example
Kids catch your actions and behaviors more than your words. Setting an outstanding example is paramount in parents. Ultimately, the key to be an outstanding father is to live by example and realize your children will always remember your behavior.
Parents need to guide their children to know how to conduct themselves and make good decisions. There is no better way to set a child up for a great future than setting a great example.
What is the best way of raising a child if not by setting a superb example at home?
I would love to hear from you.
This post was first posted here